Autobiography of John L. Dagg
About the year 1700 two brothers were born in England,
who were named ROBERT DAGG and JOHN DAGG. I know not the precise time or place
of their birth, or anything respecting their parents, or other relations. When
grown to manhood John was a ship-carpenter at Bristol and Robert was captain of
a trading vessel which sailed from that port. In some of Robert's voyages he
came to Dumfries, then a principal seaport of Virginia. It was situated on the
river Potomac, and carried on an extensive trade in tobacco. Time has filled up
its harbor, where ships once anchored; removed the river to a distance from it;
and reduced it to an inconsiderable village. But when Robert visited it he
carried back to the old world so favorable an account of it, that his brother
John was induced to try his fortune in this new land. He arrived and settled at
Dumfries. The thrifty commerce of the place gave him employment as a
ship-carpenter, and his business so prospered that he accumulated considerable
property. He married SARAH OVERALL, by whom he had a number of children. The
names of these and the legacies which he bequeathed to them appear in his will,
which stands on record in the Court of Prince William county.
JOHN DAGG had several daughters that married: but only one of his sons lived to
raise a family. He, THOMAS DAGG, followed the trade of his father at Dumfries,
and married CLARISSA POWELL, by whom he had four sons, two of whom died at an
early age. The other two, John and Robert, were left orphans in their boyhood by
the death of both their parents.
THOMAS DAGG held an extensive tract of land near Dumfries, but the validity of
his title was disputed at law; and after an unsuccessful contest he was
compelled to yield possession to another claimant. His death occured soon after,
and his sons were thrown on the world in poverty to make their way through life.
Afterwards, when arrived at manhood, they brought suit against the estate of the
vendor of the land which their father had lost, and obtained judgment for the
amount of the purchase money; but the assets of the estate were placed beyond
their reach so that they lost the costs of the suit, and gained nothing. When I
visited Dumfries in the year 1819 this tract of land was pointed out to me, and
I drank at a fine spring which was even then called Dagg's spring.
The two boys, John and Robert, were apprenticed to OLIVER PRICE, a saddler, in
the town of Alexandria. Robert entered on this apprenticeship at the age of
fourteen, and continued till February 17, 1791, when he was just twenty-one
years of age. John, the elder brother, settled at Port Tobacco, Md., where he
died some years after, leaving no children.
LEVEN POWELL, the brother of CLARISSA, the wife of THOMAS DAGG, had removed to
Loudon county, Virginia, and was carrying on a prosperous mercantile business,
by which he acquired wealth. He became distinguished in political life, and
represented this district in the Congress of the United States. This district
included Mount Vernon, and Col. POWELL was honored by receiving the vote of the
Father of his country, to become his representative in Congress.
When ROBERT DAGG had completed his apprenticeship, he visited this uncle. The
town of Middleburg, forty-five miles west of Alexandria, had grown up around his
uncle's store-house, and as an inducement for him to settle here his uncle
offered him a loan of £100, ($333.33 1/3), to set him up in his trade. That
offer Robert accepted; and, in a log building, on the other side of the street,
opposite to the store, he became the saddler of the village. In this village he
continued, and labored at his trade, the rest of his life. The small building in
which he commenced he had taken on rent, but his success in business was such
that, in a few years, he not only returned his uncle's loan, but erected a house
of his own, in another part of the village, and this he occupied till his death.
SAMUEL DAVIS, a stone-mason, of ------ county, Pennsylvania, married SARAH
LEADLEY, of New Jersey, and soon after marriage, removed to Loudon county,
Virginia, and settled on Goose creek, two miles from Middleburg. He took a small
farm of 158 acres on lease, and by cultivating this and laboring at his trade,
he, by great industry and economy, raised a large family of children, who were
trained in the industrious and steady habits of their parents. The Bible was
known and read in the family, and the children were carefully instructed in the
Presbyterian catechism; and required to observe the Sabbath. With this family
ROBERT DAGG became acquainted; and one of the daughters, Sarah, became his wife,
and took up her abode with him, in the small log building in which he had
commenced business. In this building on the 13th of February, 1794, their first
child was born, who received the family name John, handed down from the first
American ancestor. The grandmother, who always claimed the child as a favorite
grand-son, added her original name Leadley. Thus commenced that life which it is
now my privilege to review, and in which divine mercies have been crowded from
the beginning to this day.
When my parents married neither of them professed religion; but they respected
its claims, and attended on the ministrations of the word. My mother's early
training fitted her mind to receive religious impressions; and my father, who
read more than most mechanics, frequently directed his inquiries to religious
subjects. He was the postmaster of the village; and was, in consequence,
occasionally solicited by distant publishers to become their agent for the
circulation of their publications. In this way he became agent for MATTHEW
CARERY, the enterprising bookseller of Philadelphia, by whom many editions of
the Bible were published. He engaged in this agency zealously and many family
Bibles were distributed by sale in the village and surrounding country. When I
was about eight years old, WILLIAM PARKINSON, afterwards pastor of the First
Baptist Church of New York, made several tours of preaching through this part of
Virginia, and produced much religious excitement. My parents became interested
in his preaching; and, on one occasion, I remember that he became their guest
and preached at night in their house. About the same time a Presbyterian
minister settled in the village, under whose ministry they sat, and by whose
visits and conversation they were benefitted. At length, after careful inquiry,
they felt it to be their duty to come out from the world, and to put on Christ
in the way which he has appointed. They accordingly offered themselves for
membership to the Baptist Church at Long Branch, four miles from Middleburg, and
were baptized together by WILLIAM GRINSTEAD, the pastor. They took me with them
to witness this solemn ceremony, which I distinctly remember.
The church at Long Branch received many additions about this time. Among those
who were admitted to its fellowship, was a young man who had recently married
into a family residing one mile from Middleburg. His name was GEORGE LOVE. He
became a frequent visitor at our house, and held with my parents many a
conversation on religion, interesting even to me at that early age. GEORGE LOVE
became one of the chief pillars of the Saviour's cause in that region; and first
as a deacon of the church, and afterwards as a minister of the gospel,
accomplished much good. The last time I ever saw him he spoke of his long and
intimate acquaintance with my parents; and, among other commendations of my
other, said: "she was the brightest christian I ever knew."
Being blessed with such parents my early training was not neglected. They
encouraged in me a love of learning, and became themselves my teachers. The
neighborhood schools were, at that time, poor; and were taught, for the most
part, in rough log cabins with dirt floors and without windows or chimney. In
addition to the instruction received at home, I enjoyed the benefit of such a
school, taught a mile from the village. But when I was nine years old an academy
was opened in the town, offering advantages far superior to any which had been
known in this neighborhood. This was to me an important event. The Presbyterian
clergyman before mentioned, Rev. Wm. WILLIAMSON, was the principal of the
academy. I was placed under his valuable instruction, and became a favorite
pupil. While in the academy, I had a special fondness for mathematical studies.
This my teacher gratified, by adapting his course of instruction to it. After
obtaining a pretty thorough knowledge of arithmetic, I studied algebra,
geometry, [Stone's euclid], surveying, and navigation, and made considerable
progress in natural philosophy. My teacher had a copy of Martin's Philosopher
Britannica, and of Newton's Principia translated. These works he put into my
hands; and was assisting me to overcome their difficulties, when the death of my
mother occurred, on December 4th, 18O5. This event produced a sad change in our
family. She had given birth to eight children; and five of these survived her,
to be provided for by our afflicted father. In view of his responsibilities, and
of the smallness of his means to provide for the education of all the children,
he decided that he had expended as much on me, the eldest, as was consistent
with justice to the rest. I was accordingly taken from school, and put to work
in the saddler's shop. My kind teacher, having taken a lively interest in me,
regretted the change in my prospects, and conferred on the subject with Major
BURR POWELL, a cousin of my father's, and a man of wealth and benevolence. As
the result of their consultation, a proposal was made to my father that I should
be sent back to the academy, and put at the study of latin, without expense for
tuition. It was intimated to be their design to give me the best advantages
which the country afforded for a thorough education, if my progress should be
satisfactory. In a few days I was again in the academy with Ruddeman's Rudiments
on my hands. I remember that my benefactor, Major POWELL, came once to hear me
recite, when I dragged through the rules for the declension of nouns, in a
manner that gave no encouragement. After many wearisome days I had so far gone
over the book of Rudiments, that the Colloquies of Corderius were substituted.
My heart went out after the scientific studies in which I had been engaged; and
I could find no pleasure in this ding dong of words, and terminations of words.
My progress was very slow, and my teacher and benefactor, becoming discouraged,
abandoned their plan for my education, and permitted me to return to the
saddler's shop.
The making of whip lashes, girts, and bridles, had as few attractions for me, as
hic hac hoc. My mind was bent on mathematics. I procured a book from my late
teacher, for the study of spherical trigonometry and the stereographic
projection of the sphere, but the chief delight which I experienced was derived
from the study of astronomy. In one of the papers which came to my father's
office, I had seen announced a new edition of Ferguson's astronomy. This book I
had longed to possess, and Providence placed the acquisition within my reach. A
few years before my grandmother had made me a present of a ewe lamb, which my
grandfather permitted to remain in his flock, until she became the mother of a
small family. All these my grandmother sold to him for my benefit and put the
price which she received into my hands. Thus enriched, I appropriated $3.50,
which was the larger part of my wealth, to the purchase of the book. The money
was put into the hands of a neighbor, who was driving his wagon, loaded with
flour, to Alexandria. On the day when his return was expected, I watched
anxiously for his arrival. The scene, when the wagon stopped before the door,
and when the book was produced, is now vividly depicted in my memory. I received
it, the first book I ever owned; and after admiring its exterior and its
numorous and beautiful plates, engaged diligently in the study of it, without a
teacher. The simple and perspicuous method in which the author presents the
science, rendered the study easy; and I was able, in a short time, to calculate
the changes of the moon and project eclipses.
My father did not censure my love of study, but he became convinced that it
would be difficult to make a good saddler of me; and the question, what he
should do with me, gave him much perplexity. He thought, at one time, that the
printer's business might be better adapted to my inclination, and entered into
correspondence with a printer in Alexandria, making inquiry with reference to
obtaining a place for me, but he abandoned the project, from an unwillingness to
expose me to temptation, at a distance from parental advice and care.
While at work in my father's shop, an incident occurred, which had much effect
in shaping my future course. A neighbor, whose sons had long studied latin,
without his suspecting the truth, that they were unable to learn it, stopped at
the door, and conversed for a time with my father. From some cause, the
conversation turned on the peculiarity of genius often found in individuals. Our
neighbor, to illustrate what he had said on the subject, pointed to me,
remarking, "here is John, he can learn to cipher, but he can't learn latin."
This remark made an indelible impression. I revolved it again and again; "John
can't learn latin." I looked back on the opportunity of learning latin, now gone
forever, and longed for another opportunity to try whether John could learn
latin; but no such opportunity, at that time, seemed likely to present itself.
The log house in which my first days were passed, had now been removed, and a
brick store house stood on the site. In it, a man by the name of Johnson was
selling dry goods and groceries in the year 1807. He offered me a situation in
his store, with a salary sufficient to defray my expenses; and my father thought
it advisable to accept the offer. On the 1st of December, when not yet fourteen
years old, I left my father's house, to make my way in the world and entered on
this new employment. At parting, my father gave me parental advice; and
particularly urged on me to be guarded against the temptation to which I would
be exposed from the presence and selling of ardent spirits. This warning had its
effect; for, from that time to the present, I have scarcely ever tasted any
intoxicating liquor.
My duties in the new situation were, to assist in the sale of goods, and to keep
the accounts of the establishment. These did not so occupy my time, as to
exclude all attention to my favorite study. I purchased MacLauren's algebra, and
made myself more thoroughly acquainted with the science; and also found some
time to devote to conic sections and fluxions. But a subject of far higher
importance began now to engage my thoughts. Before this, and especially about
the time that my parents were baptized, serious thoughts of religion entered my
mind, and dreams of the day of judgment, disturbed my slumbers; but now, a
deeper sense of sin affected me, than I had ever previously experienced. I saw
clearly its tendency, to dethrone God, and felt that by this tendency its guilt
was to be estimated. Without explaining my feelings to my father, I obtained
from him Baxter's Call to the Unconverted, and Bunyan's Heavenly Footman,
supposing that I might find in them some instruction adapted to my case. I do
not remember any particular effect produced by the reading of these books; but I
was restless and unhappy.
Towards the close of the year 1808, I was invited to take charge of a school at
Landmark Hill, four miles from Middleburg, for the ensuing year. In my
restlessness, believing that the retirement of the country would be more
favorable to my spiritual interests, than a public situation in a store, I
decided, with my father's approbation, to make the change. Accordingly, on the
first of January, 1809, before I was fifteen years old, I became the master of a
neighborhood school. In the house of H. S. Hathaway, with whom I boarded, were
Slackhouse's History of the Bible, and Boston's Fourfold State. These books I
read with diligence, and prayed earnestly for renewing grace. On the night of
February 12th, after I had gone to bed, I thought much on the words of Christ,
"Blessed are they that hunger and thirst after righteousness; for they shall be
filled." A glimmer of hope, feeble and transient, now first entered my mind. The
next day was my birth day; and on my way to school, I prayed that as I had been
born on this day into the natural world, so the Lord might bring me this day
into the spiritual world. In the evening after returning from school, I took up
Boston's Fourfold State, and read until I came to a passage, "Think not of want
of time, while the night follows the busy day; nor of want of place, while
fields and out houses may be got." I rose, and retired behind the corn-house.
Here, while in prayer to God, my soul was relieved by a joyful sense of divine
acceptance. The prayer of the morning seemed to be answered; and the following
words, though originally spoken in a far higher sense, appeared applicable to my
case: "Thou art my son; this day have I begotten thee." I returned to the
dwelling house, and to intercourse with the family, concealing with some effort
the happy change that I had experienced. For, many days, the wonder was, that I
did not love more; and this wonder has not yet ceased. The hymn, "Come let me
love," etc., I often repeated throughout; and felt the force of every line.
Sometime afterwards I was present at a meeting of the Long Branch church when
invitation was given, to those who had hope in Christ, to come forward, and
relate their experience. I felt strongly moved to accept the invitation, with
others who presented themselves; but considerations, with the sufficiency of
which I was not wholly satisfied, held me back. At length I adopted an
unauthorized method of determining my case. Among the persons who had been
expected to offer themselves to the church that day, was an individual who had
been my school-mate. I decided, if he went forward, to accompany him. Several
related their experiences and were received by the church; but as my school-mate
was not of the number, I felt, perhaps with some joy, released from taking up
the cross. But when the pastor rose to dismiss the meeting, the young man
started from his seat, and asked permission to tell what the Lord had done for
him. This was now unexpected to me and I was now unable to rally, for the
performance of duty. I left the meeting unhappy; and many an unhappy day of
spiritual darkness and conflict followed, before I publicly professed Christ.
To say that all my subsequent spiritual difficulties, arose from my failure to
make profession of religion, would be to affirm far too much; but the same
depravity that had rendered the cross of public profession unwelcome, operated
in various other ways. I did not go back wholly to the world; and give myself up
to commit sin greedily, and without remorse; but I did not live near the Lord,
and order my steps before him with zealous circumspection. I did not deny Christ
and renounce all dependence on him; but the sense of his dying love, with which
my heart had once been filled, failed to exert on me a constraining power. Still
the persuasion that I had experienced a change of heart did not leave me; but my
prospects for the future were sometimes very dark. For a long time these words
haunted me with torturing effect. "If we sin wilfully, after we have received
the knowledge of the truth, there remaineth no more sacrifice for sin: but a
certain fearful looking for of judgment, and fiery indignation, which shall
devour the adversary." I was conscious of having committed sin, to which my will
consented, and this text seemed to pronounce its fearful sentence against me.
How many and how terrible were its buffetings, I cannot now describe, but I well
remember the time and manner in which I obtained relief. On a Sabbath day, as I
was returning from public worship, which I had attended with out sensible
benefit, these awful words continued to roll through my mind:--"No more
sacrifice for sin." I could see no way of escape. Nothing appeared before me,
but a certain fearful looking for of judgment. As I was yielding to despair, my
heart resolved, "Though he slay me, yet will I trust in him." The resolution was
formed, to press through the thunders and lightenings of his justice, and fix my
hope on his mercy. Soon after I had laid hold on this apparently forlorn hope,
the inquiry arose in my mind, whence comes it that I am inclined to trust in God
after all. The only answer I could give, was, that he himself had so inclined
me; and then I asked, would he do this, to disappoint me at last? This train of
thought brought me through most joyfully. I was enabled to look up do God, as a
reconciled father; and to heaven, as my final and eternal home. The fearful text
was still there, unexplained, and, in itself, as dark as ever; but I had been
lead around it, to a place of sun-shine, where I enjoyed the light of the Lord's
countenance, and a sweet foretaste of heaven.
The year 1809 passed, and my success, as a schoolmaster, was not such as to
yield much gratification to my pride. I had taught twenty-seven pupils, several
of whom were older than myself. Two men of full age, who were teachers, placed
themselves under my instruction to become more fully qualified for their
business. I doubt not that I gave good instruction; but my discipline was
directed by an immature judgment, and was not wise. Had I been disposed to teach
at the same place the next year my school would have been much reduced. But I
was otherwise inclined. Mr. Hathaway, with whom I had boarded, and who had been
an attached friend, knowing my desire of further education, kindly offered to
give me board, if I would go to school. Having laid by enough from the income
for teaching to meet all other expenses, I gladly accepted his offer. Mr.
Williamson, my former teacher, had relinquished the academy, and was now
teaching a private school one mile from Middleburg. Under his instruction I
placed myself once more, for the study of Latin, although my place of board was
three miles from his school house.
In January, 1810, I made the second trial of Ruddeman and Corderius; and found
them more intelligible than before. Afterwards I read Cornelius Nepos, six books
of Caesar's commentaries, the Bucolics of Virgil, six books of the Aeneid,
Sallust and nearly the whole of Horace; was thoroughly drilled in Mair's
introduction, and made some progress in Greek. I remained in the school until
the last of January, 1811, the usual vacations excepted; and was made proud by
the commendation of my teacher, who was always disposed to speak favorably of
me, and who was pleased to say that, though he had taught some that had read
more in the same time, he had never taught one who understood it so well. All
this success, and the qualification resulting for the performance of important
duties to which I was afterwards called, I owe, under God, to the incidental
remark of a thoughtless neighbor, "John can't learn Latin."
My friend Mr. Hathaway continued to board me cheerfully, and afterwards, when it
was in my power to offer him payment, he firmly rejected it. But my means for
defraying other expenses were exhausted, and it became necessary to look out for
employment that would supply the empty purse. In July, 1810, my father married
his second wife. Her brother, Dr. E. B. Grady, opened a store for the
neighborhood in which he practiced medicine, and I became the salesman and
accountant. My new situation was very pleasant. When in like business before, I
was in the employment of a man who had no regard for religion; but Dr. G. and
his lady were christians. A sister of Mrs. G. with her husband, Mr. Peter C.
Rust, often visited us; and, being warmhearted disciples of Christ, their
conversation was greatly useful to me. My spiritual state became much improved
and my Bible yielded me instruction and delight.
In this state of mind, the obligation of professing Christ presented itself.
That I might do this intelligently, it seemed necessary to examine the baptismal
controversy. My father had taken the Virginia Religious Magazine, a Presbyterian
work, in which were some ably written articles in defence of infant baptism.
These I obtained, and studied carefully. The arguments appeared to me defective
and fallacious, and I wrote out at length what seemed to me to be a conclusive
reply. Fully convinced of my duty, I offered myself, in the spring of 1812, to
the Baptist church at Ebenezer, eight miles from Middleburg, and was baptised by
Elder Wm. Fristoe, the pastor.
My acquaintance with Dr. Grady led me think of adopting the medical profession,
for the business of my life. At the close of the year 1811, Dr. G. made a
generous offer, to receive me as a medical student under his instruction, and
defray all my necessary expenses for the next three years, provided I would, for
the first year, continue to serve him in the store as before. This proposal,
which offered me what time I could redeem from the demands of the store for the
first year, and afterwards two years of uninterrupted study, I thought my duty
to accept.
In August, 1812, I attended the meeting of the Ketocton Association, to which
our church belonged; and was distressed to see the free use made of ardent
spirits, by the ministers and members. There was also distressing evidence, that
the principal deacon of our church indulged freely in the use of the pernicious
liquor; though we had no proof that he was guilty of gross drunkenness. These
facts induced me to prepare a query, which the church, at my request, sent up to
the Association, at its next meeting. "At what point between total abstinence
from ardent spirits, and intoxication by them, does the use of them become
sinful?" The temperance reform was then unknown, and the notion of total
abstinence was so little understood, that the bearing of my query was not
apprehended. In replying to it, the Association replied, that moderation was
necessary in the use of ardent spirits. This was the doctrine of the times, in
which multitudes of Christian professors, including ministers of the gospel,
were victims of intemperance. The deacon just referred to, I assisted
afterwards, to exclude from the church; and, some time after, while lying on his
hearth, in a state of intoxication, he was roasted to death by the fire.
The war of 1812 rendered calls on the militia necessary; and, in the spring of
1814, it was my lot to be drafted for six months' service, to be performed in
the vicinity of Norfolk. To one who had never endured hardship, the prospect of
long marches under a hot sun, and of continued exposure in an unhealthy climate,
was truly appalling. But I saw no alternative; and with an humble trust in
Providence, and a cheering hope beyond the grave, I prepared to obey the call of
my country. A knapsack was obtained, and my clothes were put in readiness for
departure; and the morning arrived, when I was to leave home for the
muster-ground, from which the line of march was to commence. On this morning I
received a visit from Mr. Rust, who inquired how I felt in the prospect of what
was before me. I answered, expressing a cheerful acquiesence in the appointment
of Providence. He asked whether I would not prefer to obtain a substitute. I
replied, stating that I had no means to hire one. He then informed me that he
had money in his pocket, expressly obtained for this purpose. He was himself a
poor man; but he had made application to a few wealthy friends, and obtained
from them the amount necessary. He had formed the opinion, that God had designed
me to be useful in the gospel ministry, and he felt it to be his duty, to
preserve my life for this service. The information which he communicated, was as
welcome, as it was unexpected. We readily obtained a substitute, who performed
the service in my stead; and he, and two others, were the only men in the
company, who went through the campaign without sickness. It has always appeared
to me, that Providence, on this occasion, preserved my life, through the
christian kindness of Mr. Rust.
In August, 1814, I attended the meeting of our Association at Broadrun, Fauquier
county. While here, the news reached us, that British vessels were ascending the
Potomac. When we returned home, we found that a call had been made on the
militia of our county en masse. I had a substitute then in service; but it
became my duty to stand in his place; and as all were now called on, to procure
another substitute was impracticable. I was therefore compelled after all, to
become a soldier. With hasty preparation I joined the march; and, the first
night, lodged in a hay loft near Leesburg. From this point we saw the light of
the burning capitol, which the British had fired the day before. The day
following we crossed the Potomac, and descended, on the Maryland side, to Seneca
Mills. On the way, we met some fugitives from the battle of Bladensburg, who
seemed to believe that the enemy were close behind them. In a day or two, we
received orders to proceed to Baltimore, against which place the British were
making their next preparation. On arriving, we were posted in the rear of Fort
McHenry. From this position, we had a clear view of the British ships, when they
landed their forces at North Point, and soon after, we saw distinctly, across
the water, the smoke of the battle in which the British commander, General Ross,
was killed. Orders were now received that we should march to meet the enemy. On
our way, we met the wounded returning from the battle; and, passing the
entrenchments, we halted for the night, between the city and the enemy. Early
next morning the bombardment of the Fort commenced. The next day our position
was several times changed; and we were several times in expectation of an
immediate approach and attack of the enemy; but, as if by mutual consent, the
two armies never met. The following night, however, we lay so near them, that
their encampment which was visible from the top of the hill, appeared only a
half mile distant. That was a fearful night.
The roar of cannon and bombs, which had continued through the day, became
fiercer and more tremendous. We lay on our arms; and three times we were alarmed
by the signal of our sentinels, and put in order for battle. Just before day the
firing ceased. All was still: and now the very silence rendered us uneasy. A
question arose, in which our personal safety was deeply involved, whether the
Fort had surrendered. If it had, we might expect a sanguinary conflict with the
land forces, next morning; if it had not, they would perhaps retire without
giving us battle. At the first dawn, every eye was directed towards the Fort, to
see whether the American banner still waved there; and when the morning mists
had sufficiently dispersed, we were filled with exultation at beholding the
stars and stripes still floating in the breeze. The enemy retired to their
ships, and we returned to the rope-walks, assigned for our shelter. During the
last few days, every one had spoken softly and seriously, and no oaths had been
heard, but this night our barracks were in uproar with noise and profanity,
giving painful proof of human depravity.
In a few days our company was dismissed from service. Until this time my health
had continued good; but now it began to fail. I was eighty miles from home and
able to walk but little. Here another kind interposition of Divine Providence
appeared, furnishing the means of my return. A father who was a member of the
church to which I belonged, and himself exempt from military service, had come
on horseback to see his son, who was not yet permitted to leave the army. A
similar reason had brought another neighbor and these two men, now ready to
return, offered to share their horses with me. We were to walk by turns; and,
when fatigued, to be relieved, by an exchange with one of those who rode. On the
second day of the journey, I became so weak, that one horse was given up
exclusively to my use. At a late hour in the night we reached our neighborhood,
and as it was out of the way for either of my companions to pass directly by my
home, I was unwilling to tax their kindness unnecessarily; and, when we arrived
at the proper place of parting, I insisted on being permitted to walk the
remainder of my way, which was only about a mile. We parted, and I proceeded,
borne up with the hope of soon reaching home; but in a little time I became
faint; and prostrate on the ground, at midnight, and at a distance from human
habitation, I felt helpless and forlorn; but God was my trust. After some time I
so far revived, that, by the help of a fence which was near, I succeeded in
reaching the nearest dwelling, where I awoke the inhabitants and obtained
shelter for the rest of the night. The next morning I reached home, and an
illness of some weeks' continuance followed, during which though others
apprehended a fatal issue, a strong impression continued fixed in my mind, that
the Lord had work for me to do, and that I should live to accomplish it. The
consideration that one month of military service, in a comparatively healthy
region, brought me so near to the gate of death, has often served to heighten my
appreciation of the mercy, that delivered me from a campaign of six months in
the vicinity of Norfolk.
The close of the year 1814 terminated my engagement with Dr. Grady. Had my life
been directed by human wisdom, the time was now arrived, to make some decisive
step towards an enterance into the practice of medicine. Thoughts of the
Christian ministry had often arisen in my mind, but they had been as often
repressed, by the apprehension that I could never succeed in public speaking.
Being bashful, and easily embarrassed, it was often painfully difficult to find
words for common conversation, especially with intelligent strangers; and to
expect success in addressing a public congregation, appeared to me irrational.
Yet the thoughts of the ministry, tended to render me irresolute in determining
my course of life. I judged it needful, previous to the practice of medicine, to
attend the lectures of some medical school; and at present I was unable to meet
the expense. In these circumstances I decided to teach school for a time, and
two situations presented themselves. My teacher, Mr. Williamson, desired me to
assist him in his school; and Mr. Cuthbert Powell wished me to become teacher in
his family; a temporary arrangement was made with Mr. Williamson which brought
me near to my father, for a season of distress that ensued.
In the early part of the year 1815, a fatal epidemic prevailed. My step-mother
died on the 11th of February. My father was greatly depressed; and, after
expressing to me his persuasion that he would not long survive, committed the
charge of his family to me, as the eldest son. I attributed this to the
depression of mind which he was suffering; but on the 17th, while I was in
school, my brother James rode out to inform me, that my father was sick.
Hastening in, I found him speechless. That night he breathed his last, and left
me at the head of a sorrowful family, needing guidance and protection, and a
supply of necessary wants. I gathered the children together, uniting with them
in prayer, implored the blessing of heaven in our time of need.
My step-mother left two daughters, who were provided for by an unmarried aunt.
Two older daughters, and James, fell under my special care. His age allowed him
soon to be put apprentice to a trade; and, as the best provision for my sisters
I accepted the offer of Mr. Powell, and became teacher in his family, with the
privilege of receiving some other pupils. Two generous widows in the
neighborhood, who were in easy circumstances, offered board to my sisters, that
they might attend the school. Thus Providence raised us up friends.
My situation in the family of Mr. Powell, was very pleasant. He was a man of
intelligence and refinement; and association with his family, and the company
that visited him, tended to cure my awkward bashfulness. I had much time for
study; and, as my duty in teaching required, improved myself much in the
knowledge of Latin and Greek.
Being the only Baptist in the family, or among their connections, my religious
opinions were often brought under discussion. On one occasion, when on a visit
to Major Burr Powell, he put Mason's Essay on the Church into my hand,
pleasantly remarking that he wished to convert me to the Pedobaptist faith. I
received the book thankfully; and, after reading it with care, wrote a review,
in which I controverted his positions, and maintained Baptist principles. This
he read; and, at least, became satisfied that there was very little
encouragement to labor for my conversion. Mr. Cuthbert Powell asked permission
to read this manuscript; and, after perusing it, favored me with some criticisms
on it; and took occasion to advise, that I should turn my attention to the legal
profession. Suspecting that I was inclined to the Christian ministry, he
remarked, that it was not every man's duty to minister at the altar, and that he
thought my talents were specially adapted to the bar. I replied, that though I
could not decide to give myself to the gospel ministry, I was unable to go in a
contrary direction.
The question respecting the ministry, was at length pressed closely on my
conscience. In the spring of 1816, the Ebenezer church passed a resolution,
requesting me to exercise my gifts in their meetings. With this request I
cheerfully and unhesitatingly complied, so far as I could, in common with other
members of the church, but I could go no further. The question whether I was
called of God to the gospel ministry, was one between God and my own conscience,
and I could not permit the church to decide it for me. Months of agonizing
prayer, and prayful heart searching, followed. Was my heart right in the matter?
Had I qualifications for public preaching? The latter question I at length
became willing to leave to the church; and if, from too favorable a judgment of
my qualifications, they should put me forward in a position from which I should
be compelled to retire with disgrace, I was willing to submit to the disgrace.
But whether my heart was right, the church could not, and must not judge. I
feared that I had not the right motives for entering the ministry. At length the
advice of Mr. Powell rose before me, with success at the bar, and honor, and
affluence. Over against those I contemplated the reproach of being a Baptist
minister, and the poverty to be expected. In full view of the contrast, my heart
said, give me reproach and poverty, if I may serve Christ, and save souls. From
that hour, I never doubted my call to the ministry. My first sermon was preached
in December of this year.
From the days in which I read Baxter's Call, Bunyan's Footman, Slackhouse's
History of the Bible, and Boston's Fourfold State, I continued to read the
religious books which came or fell in my way. This course, though not adopted
with any view to the ministry, I found of great use to me. It supplied me with
matter for preaching; and, in public speaking, I suffered less embarrassment,
and want of words, than I had anticipated. My attempts in the pulpit were well
received; and, in November, 1817, I was called to ordination.
An important question now presented itself for practical solution. Having been
solemnly set apart for the ministry, was it my duty to devote myself exclusively
to the work, and relinquish all secular employment? On the afternoon of my
ordination, in a conversation with Elder Fristoe, pastor of the church, I sought
his advice on this subject. When I quoted the words of Paul, "The Lord hath
ordained that they who preach the gospel, should live of the gospel," he
remarked, " The Lord's ordinances are often broken, and they who preach the
gospel often find it impossible to live on the provision made for them." He set
before me the risk of relying on such support; but added, "If you are willing to
try the experiment, it will have my approbation." To try the experiment, was,
after prayerful deliberation, the course which I decided to adopt. If it should
fail, after a fair trial, I could then return to secular employment for support,
with a clear conscience. But the experiment must be a fair one; and, to render
it so, it must be made on some plan which gave a reasonable prospect of success.
My expenses must be brought so low, as to give hope of providing for them; and
my services must not be engaged, where there was not hope of remuneration. It
was the custom of the country, to give one Sabbath in the month to each place of
preaching; and, having fixed on $400.00 as the least possible amount for the
expenses of a year, I determined not to engage a Sabbath to any place, without
the promise of $100.00. This determination I made known to some of my brethren,
who entered into the plan, and obtained subscriptions to the amount required.
With this prospect, I decided to relinquish my school; and, during the years
1818 and 1819, devoted myself wholly to the ministry.
On the 18th of December, 1817, I was married to FANNY H. THORNTON. Her uncle,
Wm. Hunton, a benevolent member of the Broadrun church, to which she belonged,
offered us, rent free, the use of a house and lot near the village of New
Baltimore, Fauquir county. Desirous to make our expenses as little as possible,
we gladly accepted the offer. Here we lived two years, in much poverty, on cheap
food, with cheap clothing, and almost without furniture; but I was happy, being
engaged in the Lord's work, and with a quiet conscience. When at home, I
employed myself in the preparation of sermons, and other studies. My books,
which were set out on a rude shelf, were few in number; but among them were
Scott's Commentaries, Robertson's Hebrew Grammar, Buxtorf's Hebrew Lexicon, and
Lumsden's Compendium of the Hebrew Bible, which I used profitably.
During the year 1818, I preached on Sabbath days at Ebeneezer and Middleburg, in
Loudon county; at Frying pan in Fairfax county; and at Broadrun in Fauquir
county. The next year, instead of the last named place, I preached at
Chappawamsee, Stafford county. It was my custom to preach on week days whenever
I found a favorable opening. Some citizens of Dumfries occasionally attended my
ministry at Chappawamsee, the distance being only seven or eight miles; and by
them I was invited to preach in their town. My first appointment at this place,
was on the evening of ----, 1819, in a house where an academy was taught. At
candle light, I entered the room, and preached to a crowded congregation; but,
before the discourse was completed, the people sank at my feet, with tumult and
female shrieks. While endeavoring to calm a woman who was near me, I discovered,
by the little light that remained unextinguished, that we were standing at the
head of an inclined plane, formed by the fallen floor. The joists on which it
was laid, rested on the side walls, and on a large beam running through the
middle of the house length-wise. This beam had given away at the far end, and
the congregation were pressed together towards that point. In a moment, a man,
whom I supposed to be a citizen of the place, opened a window which was just
behind me, and said to me "get out." It seemed to me the obvious duty of those
who were at the head of' the inclined plane, to get out of the way, that others
might be able to ascend, and make their escape. Accordingly, in obedience to the
direction given, having taken my hat, I sprung from the window, in the dark,
supposing that the ground was near. I had entered the room on the upper side of
a steep hill; and, being a stranger to the locality, did not suspect that the
window was ten or twelve feet from the ground and therefore followed, without
fear, the direction of one whom I supposed to be at home. On looking up to the
window from the ground, I saw a female preparing to follow me in the leap, and
called aloud to her to desist; but she was deaf to my cry. Another approached
the window, to leap after her, but either my cries, or their own thoughtfulness,
brought two men, (one of whom was probably the same man that opened the window),
to lay hold on her, and prevent her fall. In this leap, my right ankle was
severely sprained, and several weeks passed before I could walk on it. Thus my
first visit to the town of my forefathers, gave origin to the lameness with
which I am now afflicted, and with which I shall go halting to the end of my
pilgrimage.
In the beginning of the year 1819, my friend Mr. Rust, who had been a chief
agent in procuring subscriptions for my benefit, gave me information of the
views expressed by contributors to my support. They thought "he must do
something for himself;" but they did not wish to stop my supplies suddenly and
without warning, and, therefore, continued their subscriptions for another year.
My experiment proved, in less than two years, that my services were not
considered worth $400.00; or that those, to whom they were rendered, were either
unable, or unwilling to pay for them.
It became needful for me to do something for myself; and what that something
should be, was the next inquiry. Believing that teaching would interfere with
the ministry less than any thing else that I could do, I concluded to teach; and
in January, 1820, opened a female school in Middleburg, continuing my Sabbath
day preaching as before, and receiving for it whatever the people chose to give
me.
In October, 1821, my brother Samuel, next to me in age, came to my house, wild
with delerium tremens. I got him to bed, and procured medical aid; but in a few
days, he expired, a victim to the vice of the age, before he had completed his
twenty-sixth year. I wept at his grave without hope. When will the terrific
reign of Alcohol cease!
Having been invited to become the principal of the Upperville Academy, I
removed, and took charge of it in January, 1822. The church at Chappawamsee was
so distant, that, after preaching there on Sunday, it was necessary to ride a
great part of the night, in order to be at home for my school duties next
morning. I therefore gave up that charge, and preached one Sabbath in the month
at Upperville. My separation from the good people at Chappawamsee was painful.
At no place in Virginia were my labors apparently so much blessed. We had passed
through a precious revival, which continued for several months. At one meeting,
we had twenty candidates for baptism.
In the spring of 1823, the hurt which my ankle had received, was slightly
renewed, in stepping from a carriage. A few days after I rode to Washington
City, to attend a meeting of the Baptist Triennial Convention. The journey, and
the walking done at the Convention, had such effect, that, on returning, it was
necessary to use a crutch, and this help in walking has been necessary ever
since, because of permanent weakness in the joint. But greater afflictions were
near at hand.
On the 5th of August, my wife gave birth to a son. During the first part of her
confinement, she was unusually well; but, in the third week, she was attacked
with headache, which terminated in convulsions, apoplectic stupor, and death.
This was the severest blow that I had ever received; but the gracious Being who
saw it needful to inflict it, sustained me under it. The first emotions which it
produced, were not grief. The earth had now lost all attraction; and my mind
followed the departed one to her glorious home, into which I was as confident
that she had entered, as that I existed. Only a thin veil seemed to separate me
from the happy assembly, and I could almost hear their triumphant songs. After
the body was interred, some friends approached me, and affectionately expressed
their condolence. I received their well meant kindness thankfully; but though,
while I took them by the hand, tears flowed abundantly from my eyes, my heart
was without grief; and I assured them, that I did not need consolation, so rich
a tide of it was poured into my soul, from the source that God had opened on
high. How long this state of mind continued, I cannot now say, but I well
remember that thoughts of the little ones left behind, first brought me back to
earth. I contemplated our four helpless babes committed to my care, and
dependent on me, for every thing; and now I keenly felt the loss which we had
sustained, and genuine grief began to flow. After a few days the mother of the
departed one took the charge of the children, and I sadly assumed the duties of
my school.
The wife of my youth, though removed from me so soon, was, while she remained, a
rich gift of heaven. The union had been so clearly pointed out by the finger of
Providence, that I ever regarded her as given to me from above, and her
qualifications were such as to render me happy. Her heart was full of affection;
and when she referred to the possibility that I might be left in the sole charge
of our little ones, she enjoined that I should teach them to be affectionate.
She delighted to confer benefits on others, and gladly did what she could, to
help me forward in my ministerial work. She cheerfully united in the experiment
to sustain our family, which included my two sisters, on the small sum of
$400.00; and her industry and economy rendered this part of the experiment
successful. But her crowning virtue was her ardent piety. She walked with God;
and her path grew brighter, as her end approached. She seemed to have a
presentiment of the change that was before her; and, previous to her
confinement, expressed, as she had never done before, the apprehension that she
would not survive it. She added that she was willing to go; and, at this time,
gave me the charge before mentioned respecting the children. She often expressed
her feelings, when alone, by singing sweetly and cheerfully, "While my
Redeemer's near," etc., which was with her a favorite hymn, such was the joy
with which her last days were blessed. She so finished her short and beautiful
course, as to render the way to heaven more attractive; and the holy place has
possessed another attraction, since her entrance into it. I rejoice in the hope,
that all the children which she left, will meet her there.
Necessity had driven me, in teaching, to study diligently the lessons on which I
was about to give instruction. In this way, much of my progress in learning had
been made. My chief remaining difficulty at that time was in Greek; and, to
overcome this, I employed what time I could find for this purpose, in reading
Greek authors. During the winter that followed, feeling my loneliness, I was
accustomed to rise before day, kindle the fire, light the candle, and read
Homer's Iliad until daylight. The type which I read was small, but I never
thought of any evil consequences. Had I known, what I have since learned, that
the reading of the same work, at the same hour, affected the eyes of Dr. Dwight
with permanent disease, I might have escaped. But, persevering in this course, I
found my eyes failing as summer drew on. My medical adviser did not apprehend
the danger that was before me, until I had become unable to bear the light of
day. Some weeks, I was obliged to keep within doors, and, during part of the
time, with a bandage over the eyes. Now my faith was severely tried. Lame and
blind, how could I be useful, and how provide for the wants of my children?
These questions, which I knew not how to answer, God answered in due time.
In the fall, my eyes were so far improved, that, in company with a brother
preacher, Joseph Baker, I left home on a preaching tour. We passed through
several of the lower counties of Virginia, and attended the meeting of the Dover
Association where we met with brethren from Richmond. The acquaintance here
formed led to an invitation, subsequently received, to visit the First church in
Richmond which was in search of a pastor.
Thus, the state of my eyes which had seemed to darken all my prospects, and
which had rendered the journey desirable, was by means of it, operating to open
a way for me to higher usefulness.
When I returned to school-keeping in 1820, it was from necessity. Though the
service was cheerfully performed, and was acceptable to the public; yet I always
felt, to adopt the language of Paul in another case, if I might be free to use
it rather. It was my fixed purpose, to devote myself exclusively to the
ministry, whenever it should be in my power.
About December 1st, the letter before mentioned was received from Richmond; and
the same mail brought another from the Fifth Baptist church at Philadelphia,
then without a pastor, requesting me to visit them, and supply their pulpit for
a month. I decided to visit both churches, in compliance with their invitation,
and replied accordingly. I spent the latter part of December in Richmond; and
going thence to Philadelphia, arrived on the ---- day of January, 1825. Before
the month had passed, I received a letter from the church in Richmond inviting
me to become their pastor; and, at the expiration of the month, a call was given
by the church in Philadelphia. The latter call, I accepted; and allowing time to
return to Virginia and bring on my family, I engaged to enter on pastoral duties
the 1st of May following.
On my arrival at home, I found that my brother James, then a member of my
family, was recovering from a fever, with which he had been attacked during my
absence. In this sickness he had obtained a hope in Christ, and I had the
pleasure of hearing him, in an interesting conversation, give the reason of his
hope. In compliance with medical advice, received in Philadelphia, I confined
myself to a dark room, for six weeks, with a hope of benefitting my eyes. While
I was thus shut up, James relapsed, and died. He had always been an amiable
youth, and of correct morals, and the religious change which he had recently
undergone, authorized us to mourn for him, not as those who have no hope.
In April I took leave of the congregations to whom I had ministered. The last
Sabbath was left for Ebeneezer, where I had been baptized, and ordained, and had
preached regularly from the time of my ordination. It was an affecting time. I
preached, ready to depart on the morrow; and, after sermon, we gathered around
the Lord's table, where I administered to them the communion for the last time.
This service being over, we all sat and wept for some time; and then, having
commended each other to god, we parted.
My eldest sister remained in Upperville, having been married on December 7th,
preceding. My sister Sarah went with me to Philadelphia, and assisted me in the
charge of the children. We arrived at the time appointed; and, in this city of
strangers, God raised us up friends, from whom we received much kindness. My
work was that which I preferred above all other; and my connection with the
church, was, on the whole, exceedingly pleasant. Souls were given me in reward
for my labor, not in large crowds, but in sufficient number to keep me
encouraged and thankful. A heavy debt with which the church was encumbered, was,
by long continued effort, so far reduced, that it ceased to give uneasiness. The
contributions for missions, and other benevolent purposes, became greatly
increased, and our congregation, though not abounding in wealth, set a good
example to others. After providing for their pastor a sufficient support, they
raised annually, for other purposes, a much larger amount, so that his salary
was the least part of their contribution.
The regular course of pastoral duty is so uniform, that few events occur which
call for special notice in a brief review. No difficulty ever gave serious alarm
for the peace of the church, except from one cause. A schism occurred in the
First Baptist church, about the time of my removal to Philadelphia, which spread
an unhappy influence among the churches. Ours was the newest church, and felt
the effect more than any other. The members were divided into two nearly equal
parties, with so much of partisan feeling, that a division of the church seemed
almost inevitable. I labored to prevent this evil; and God graciously gave
success.
Soon after my settlement in Philadelphia, it became necessary to give a
practical proof of my opposition to the use of ardent spirits. The ministers of
the Association were accustomed to meet every three months at some one of the
churches. A sermon was delivered by a brother appointed at the previous meeting.
After the sermon, the ministers dined with the pastor; and, in the afternoon, in
a ministerial conference, criticised the sermon for the common benefit. In the
first meeting of this sort that I attended, my heart was pained to see ardent
spirits set out on the pastor's side-board, and the guests partaking freely. At
subsequent meetings the same custom was observed. At length it became my turn to
entertain the ministers meeting. The best food that the market afforded, I
gladly provided for the table; but my conscience would not permit me, to offer
the pernicious beverage. The effect, I think, was good. So far as I know, the
decanter was never seen afterwards at a minister's meeting.
Of the ministers in the Philadelphia Association, brethren David Jones and
Joseph H. Kennard became my most intimate associates. I loved them much, for
their love to Christ and his cause. Their counsels were always directed to the
good of Zion. At a time when the Philadelphia Association was holding its annual
meeting in Southwark, these two brethren lodged at my house. During the day, we
witnessed the painful discussions which grew out of the schism in the First
church; and, at night, mourned over the state of religion. "Can nothing be
done," asked brother Jones, "to build the walls of Jerusalem in these troublous
times?" The thought was a happy one; and we immediately set about to plan for
the spread of the gospel in Pennsylvania. We drew up a constitution for what was
at first called the Pennsylvania Missionary Association, but afterwards the
Pennsylvania Convention. This body God has greatly blessed, in spreading the
gospel, and multiplying churches, through the State.
When our Missionary Association had made some progress in collecting funds, we
prayed to the Lord to send us a suitable missionary on whom to expend them.
While we were so engaged, a stranger came to my house, and informed me that he
had made, this his first visit to Philadelphia, to see if there were any persons
in the city who cared for the souls that were perishing in the interior, where
he had for some time been laboring as a missionary, self-sustained. This man was
Eugene Kincaid, afterwards so distinguished in the Burman mission. God had sent
him to us in answer to our prayers. He became the chief Agent of our Missionary
Association; and to him, under God, the Baptist cause in Pennsylvania owes much
of its present enlargement.
Early in the spring of 1830, I was so ill, that, for some time, my friends
despaired of my life. To my own view, death was near; but my mind was calmly
resigned to the will of God. Solicitude for my helpless family inclined me to
life; and it was the will of God to restore me to health.
The chief agency in restoring my health, was performed by Elder Noah Davis,
father of the American Baptist Tract Society, now called the American Baptist
Publication Society. Bro. Davis removed to Philadelphia in 1826, bringing the
infant society with him, for the advancement of which I labored with him. He
connected himself with the church that I served; and our association with each
other became very intimate. He visited me in my sickness, and, forming the
opinion that the illness had arisen from too much study, with too little
exercise, he judged that relaxation and out-door exercise were necessary to
effect a cure. With him, thought was followed by action. He at once went around
among the members; and represented that they were permitting their pastor to die
by neglect. He insisted that I ought to be furnished with a horse and vehicle,
in which I might take exercise, as my lameness prevented sufficient exercise by
walking. His appeals had the effect which he desired. Provision was made for the
purchase of a horse and vehicle, which were presented me. But before these could
be procured, he obtained the temporary use of a vehicle, which he brought to my
house, as soon as I was able to leave the bed, and rode out with me. The
invigorating effect of the first short ride, encouraged us to lengthen the
second; and, in process of time, I became able to ride out to Bastleton, where
my friend David Jones resided, eight miles from the city. My brain continued so
much affected, that I was unable to bear mental excitement, or mental labor, and
was therefore unfit for any pastoral duty. By the kind invitation of Bro. Jones,
I spent a large part of the summer in his family, enjoying the advantage of
daily exercise and country air, and the agreeable society of himself, and his
excellent wife.
From Bastleton brother Jones frequently rode with me into the city, where we
spent the night with my family. On one of these visits, in the month of July, it
was announced to us on our arrival, that brother Davis was lying a lifeless
corpse having died suddenly, almost without sickness. The unexpected
announcement shocked us both; but the effect on me, in my feeble state, was
such, that brother Jones decided on immediate return to Bastleton, where we
should not be so painfully excited by continual allusion to the afflictive
event, in the conversation of every one.
Brother Davis, though possessing extraordinary talents for secular business, had
chosen to devote himself to the service of Christ. His labors had received but
little pecuniary reward; and, in consequence, he left his family, consisting of
a wife and two small children, without provision for their support.
In the autumn following, my health had so far improved, that I was able to
resume pastoral labors; and it continued to improve, by the constant use of the
vehicle, which Bro. Davis had been the chief agent in providing. Among the
members of my flock, Mrs. Davis had a special claim on my regard, not only
because of her recent affliction, but also because she was the widow of a friend
and benefactor, to whose considerate kindness I was perhaps indebted for even
life itself. Another fact, to her wholly unknown, had much effect on my mind. My
acquaintance with her had commenced previous to her marriage, when she was Mary
Young, a teacher in the school of her aunt, Mrs. Edmonds, in the town of
Alexandria. As my field of labor in Virginia was near, I occasionally visited
Alexandria, and preached for Elder S. H. Cone, pastor of the Baptist church. In
these visits, my wife sometimes accompanied me. She became acquainted with Miss
Young, and entertained so high esteem for her, that, when she spoke to me of the
probability of her being taken from me, she expressed a decided wish, that I
should seek to obtain Miss Young to become the mother of our children. But Miss
Young married a month before my sad bereavement occurred; and the wish expressed
by my deceased wife was scarcely remembered, until it was brought to mind by the
peculiar circumstances in which I found myself. After the marriage of Miss Young
her path of life had diverged wildly from mine; but Providence had now brought
us near to each other, and in relations which of themselves elicited peculiar
regard. Moreover, she possessed personal qualifications which rendered her,
above all the women that I knew, a desirable companion in the most intimate
relation of life. On reviewing the eight years of my loneliness, it seemed to
me, that an overruling Providence had kept me from matrimonial alliance till the
person designed for me, was presented before me. Obeying the indications of the
divine will, I sought, and ultimately obtained her consent to become my fellow
pilgrim for the remainder of life's journey. We formed our union, with no
romantic expectations of happiness on earth. Affliction had saddened our
spirits, and taught us to look beyond the present life, for perfect and enduring
bliss. We felt the uncertainty of our continuance here, and our highest
expectation was, to assist each other, for a few years, in serving God, and
preparing for heaven; and in training our children, during their most helpless
years, for the duties of life and the retributions of eternity. But lo! we have
been preserved to each other, until we are now tottering down the hill of life
together. All our children have reached mature age; and, by the grace of God,
all of them, with a single exception, have been brought into the fold of Christ.
One son yet remaining, for whose conversion we still live to pray; in hope that
he too will be gathered, and, that we shall be at last an unbroken family in
heaven.
This faithful companion of my pilgrimage, has repeatedly requested that I would
write out a brief sketch of my life. She has pleaded that my children know but
little of my early history; and that it would be a great gratification to them,
to have a record of it which they could read after I had been removed by death.
Her request I could not find it in my heart to deny. I have continued the
sketch, down to that period, from which the chief events of my life are well
known to the family; and here I close the narrative. The egotism which abounds
in it, the children will excuse; since I knew not how to avoid it, without
refusing to write on the subject.
At the request of my grandson Junius F. Hillyer, received
January 9th, 1878, I continue my narrative.
The preceding sketch brings down the history of my life to the time of my second
marriage. At that time I was able to preach. From the time that the Holy Spirit
brought me to give myself up to serve God in the ministry of his word, I felt
myself devoted to this service. The thought of abandoning it never entered my
mind; and, so far as I remember, the fact that I might at some time be driven
from it by disease, never troubled me. But a sad trial now awaited me. In the
year 1832 my throat was often sore on Monday morning, from the use of the voice
on the preceding day. In 1833 this soreness became more frequent and more
lasting, and as the year advanced I became satisfied that my voice was failing.
I consulted a skillful physician, who prescribed an astringent wash, to be
applied internally to the throat with a mop. The remedy may have accomplished
some good, but it did not effect a cure. The physician did not advise any
cessation of my pulpit labors; and I continued to preach until my voice so
failed in the pulpit while I was preaching one cold Sabbath morning, I think in
April, 1834, that I was scarcely able to speak loud enough to be heard for many
weeks afterwards. I was compelled to carry on all ordinary, conversation in
whisper. My kind church indulged the hope that I would soon be able to return to
the labor of the pulpit, declined to receive my resignation; but, after a time,
they, as well as I, became convinced that it was expedient to dissolve our
connection. We parted in sorrow.
When I became pastor of the church, I found among its members, a preacher named
Wm. Strowbridge, a native of England, a man of property and age, who had never
married. Brother Strowbridge soon died and left his property, by will, to the
Philadelphia Baptist Association. At this time the spirit of public benevolence
had a strong tendency toward the establishment of schools, in which boys would
be required to perform manual labor as well as to study. It was believed that
the plan would yield some advantage in lessening the expense of education and
for greater advantage in giving the boys vigorous health, and habits of
industry. The Association caught the spirit of the times, and resolved to invest
this bequest of Bro. Strowbridge in a manual labor school. A tract of land, near
the village of Hadington, four miles west of the city, was purchased, and a
school was established in which the pupils were required to labor in the
cultivation of the ground as well as in the cultivation of their minds.
This school was under the management of Trustees appointed by the Association,
and was conducted with some measure of success, but with many discouraging
difficulties. There was a vacancy in the presidency at the time my voice failed,
and the place was offered to me with the hope, as some of my brethren were
pleased to say, that I would be able to remedy the difficulties. I accepted the
offer and entered on the duties of the office in the autumn of 1834. We had a
good school, and it was to me especially gratifying that we had among our
pupils, a number of young brethren who were preparing for usefullness in the
ministry. Being now unable to preach the gospel myself, it gave me joy to have
an opportunity to assist others in performing the holy service. All the studies
which had a direct reference to the sacred office, came under my immediate
charge; and I had here my first experience as a professor of theology. The only
difficulty which I found in giving the instruction needed, arose from a desire
of some of the young brethren to study Hebrew. In the years 1818 and 1819 I had
made sufficient progress in the study of Hebrew, to give the instruction
desired, but in the years following, I was too much engaged in studying and
teaching other things to allow me time for the study of Hebrew, and in 1824, I
was rendered unable, by the failure of my eyes. After so long neglect I felt
that it was indispensably necessary that I should resume the study of Hebrew, if
I attempted to teach it. How to do this without the use of eyes, was the present
difficulty. To overcome it I induced my eldest daughter to learn the letters and
vowel points of the language, and she became able to read Hebrew for me. With
her aid I studied carefully the lessons which my class recited, and was able to
instruct them to their satisfaction, and also to my own. Our school continued to
be good during the year 1835; but, before the close of the year the Trustees,
who had the responsibility of managing its finances, became convinced, by their
own experience, and the general experience of manual labor schools, that the
manual labor appendage was a heavy weight on them and had a downward tendency.
So strong was their conviction on this point that they resolved to sell the
tract of land which they had purchased for the experiment. In the spring of
1836, it became a subject of anxious inquiry whether I should follow the
fortunes of the school to another location, or seek for other employment. My
wife, who had been a popular teacher in her aunt's female school, and who was
desirous to assist me in providing for the family, favored the project of
establishing a female school, and urged that our three daughters were now of
sufficient age to give reliable assistance. An objection to the plan was that we
knew no place where we could safely attempt such an enterprise. The city of
Philadelphia was well supplied with schools, and the Rev. R. W. Cushman, whom we
both highly esteemed, and who had been the teacher of two of our daughters, was
still teaching there, and we did not wish to become his rival. One day, when
some business called my wife into the city, she chanced to be near the residence
of brother Cushman, and decided to call on him, and have some conversation with
him, about our affairs. He was at home, received her kindly, and entered with
interest into the conversation which she directed. For some time they talked
without the prospect of arriving at any useful results; but, at length, a new
thought suddenly struck his mind, and he exclaimed, "Sister Dagg, I have a
letter!" This exclamation told nothing so much as that it proceeded from a mind
full of thought. He continued to think in silence, until she interrupted him
with the inquiry, "well, brother Cushman, what of the letter." He then explained
that it was a letter from the Rev. Dr. Woods, president of the University of
Alabama; that according to the letter a stock company had been formed for the
purpose of establishing, in the city of Tuscaloosa, a Baptist school of high
order, to be called the Alabama Female Athenaeum; that an eligible site had been
purchased, and arrangements made for opening the school in September following;
and that he, Dr. Woods, president of the Board of Trustees, wrote to know
whether Mr. Cushman, with whom he was personally acquainted, would accept the
presidency of the institution. After hearing this explanation, my wife said:
"Well, brother Cushman, will you not accept?" He replied, "no, it will not suit
me; my wife is not a teacher; but it will suit you and brother Dagg." After some
further talk it was arranged between them that brother Cushman should write to
Dr. Woods and recommend to him the appointment of me to the presidency. In a
short time I received a letter informing me that I had received the appointment;
and, in the August following, I was on my way, with my wife and our seven
children, to the distant abode. Thus the call of my wife on Bro. Cushman, and
the thought which suddenly struck his mind, small events in themselves, and
apparently produced by mere chance, were, under the ruling of divine Providence,
the origin of a chance which gave an entirely new direction to the history of my
whole family.
We found Tuscaloosa a pleasant place of abode; our health, during seven and a
half years of our stay, was uninterrupted; and though our school had in it a
large number of boarders, no death occurred among them, and, so far as I now
remember, no case of dangerous illness. The people were refined and afforded
society. It was the seat of government; and the governor and officers of State
were residents. The University was near enough to be regarded as a part of the
city, and its president and faculty to be regarded as belonging to the
community. The Episcopalians, Presbyterians, Methodists and Baptists had their
houses of worship and their ministers. The annual sessions of the Legislature
brought intelligent visitors from all parts of the State. And the University,
the Presbyterian school and the Athenaeum, brought young persons of both sexes
to enliven the place.
At the time of our arrival the city was in high prosperity, business was brisk,
money was very plentiful, city property brought a high price, and an air of
cheerfulness was spread over the community to bid us welcome.
Our journey to Tuscaloosa was tedious. The Creek Indians on the Chattahoochee
river were in a state of hostility; making it dangerous to enter Alabama from
the east. A letter from Tuscaloosa advised us to enter from the north, by the
way of the Ohio and Tennessee rivers. In pursuance of this advice we went from
Philadelphia to Pittsburg, and proceeded thence in boats to Waterloo, which was
the highest point on the Tennessee that our boat could reach, because the river
was low at this season. We were detained some days at Waterloo, by the
impossibility of obtaining conveyances. At Tuscumbia we were again detained; but
at length we hired two carriages to take us to Tuscaloosa. We were on the way
two or three days, and arrived too late to be present at the opening of the
Athenaeum. The Rev. J. C. Kerney, who had been appointed professor of natural
sciences, had arrived before us. Mrs. Woods, the excellent wife of president
Woods, took so much interest in the success of the school that she had
volunteered her services. These two had opened the school and formed and
instructed classes. Our work was now ready for us, and we entered on it without
delay. The building in which we taught was a neat two story brick edifice,
situated on the eastern edge of the city, and on a lot of five or six acres,
which extended eastward from the city. A good steward had been appointed who,
with his family, occupied the building, and had charge of the boarding
department. We took board in a neighboring private family, but did not remain
there long. The Trustees judged it important, for the interests of the school,
that we should be in closer connection, and more intimate intercourse, with the
young boarders; and, in compliance with their wishes, we took board in the
family of the steward.
What salary the Trustees gave professor Kerney, I do not distinctly remember,
but I think it was $1000.00 or $1200.00. My wife and I, with our three
daughters, were the other teachers, and for our services they engaged to pay
$2000.00, with the income of the ornamental department. This department, through
my wife's skillful labor and management, become very prosperous. The steward
agreed to board our whole family for $1000.00; and our fixed salary, apart from
the income of the ornamental department, was sufficient to pay our board and our
necessary expenses. If our surplus income had been wisely invested, and
permitted to accumulate, it might have made us too rich for our spiritual good;
but from this evil the Lord delivered us. Our building was too small. It had
been the residence of a single family; but it was now required to furnish
accommodation for two families, a number of boarders, and all the various
operations of the school. In conducting these operations we felt crowded to
oppression. Soon the work of enlarging the building began.
This gave us a hope of better days to come; but it afforded no present relief.
On the contrary we were now disturbed by the voices of the workmen, the noise of
hammers and saws, and various other annoyances. Our troubles some times almost
drove us to despair; but, through all we succeeded in convincing the people that
we could teach.
The opening of the fall session in 1837 was a time of release from prison. The
workmen had completed their work, and two large additions had been made, one at
each end of the original building, and extending much further back. The lower
story of one addition gave us a spacious assembly room; of the other, a spacious
eating room; and the upper stories were divided into convenient dormitories. Our
accommodations were now ample; and from this time the Athenaeum rose in
popularity. It received large patronage from the city and vicinity, and drew
pupils from various and distant parts of the State.
The prosperity of the Athenaeum continued to increase for two or three years,
and then did not suddenly decline; but there was a cause operating which
effectually prevented its lasting success. It had not been endowed by some
benevolent man of wealth; who, desirous to consecrate his property to the
accomplishment of some public good, decided to endow a female school with
commodious buildings, valuable apparatus, a large library, and other means of
success and usefulness. On the contrary the Athenaeum was from its origin the
property of a stock company, which according to its plan, was entitled to
receive, if its members were not encouraged to expect, a good dividend as the
fruit of the investment. Alabama interest was then, as it is now, eight per
cent. per annum; and an investment made in prosperous times with a view to
pecuniary profit, could not be accounted well made, unless it yielded at least
legal interest. The investment of the company was in a building which was
obtained at a high price. The private dwelling first purchased cost $6000.00.
This was a high price, though it may have been a fair price according to the
estimated value of city property at that time. It is certain that the vendor did
not consider the price exorbitant, for some time after the sale, in speaking of
the transaction, he remarked that he had sold the property for a song. Now, if
the Trustees were charged with the responsibility of appointing and liberally
paying an efficient corps of teachers, and of so managing the educational
department as to raise it to great eminence and usefulness; and if they were at
the same time charged with the further responsibility of so managing the
financial department as to pay the stockholders a good dividend on their costly
investment; responsibility was too heavy for them to bear, and it is not
surprising that they ultimately threw it off. I was not a member of the Board of
Trustees, and I cannot give an account of their doings, their difficulties, and
their struggles to overcome the difficulties; but I know that the institution
became involved in debt; I know that my salary remained unpaid until at a
settlement that I distinctly remember, the Trustees gave me their note for
$4484.00; I know that there were other creditors, the justice of whose claims
the Trustees acknowledged, and that the Trustees, unable to pay these debts,
made over the property to the creditors by a deed of trust.
The deed of trust, just mentioned, did not provide for the immediate sale of the
property, and while it remained unsold, it remained under the control of the
trustees. Having resolved to free themselves from the responsibility of
appointing and paying teachers, the Trustees offered me the use of the property
for a reasonable rent, on condition that I would take the whole responsibility
of managing the school. My interests were so much involved in the success of the
school, that I accepted the offer; and, when the time arrived for the sale of
the property, under the deed of trust, I was under strong inducement to bid for
it. I had now the control of the school; and, to exercise this control
successfully, it was important that I should have control of the building also.
I became a bidder, and the property was struck off to me at a cost much less
than its original cost, but much greater than the price which I afterwards got
for it. City property had already declined much, but it afterwards declined
more. I continued to be the owner some years after my removal from Tuscaloosa;
and my agent let out the property for educational purposes. At length he wrote
to me that the University desired to purchase a building for some educational
purpose; and I instructed him to offer the Athenaeum property for whatever
price, men selected to appraise it, should judge to be its value. The University
accepted the offer, and appraisers were daily appointed, who gave their judgment
that the property was worth $1500.00. This price the University paid me, a price
just one fourth the song which the Trustees of the Athenaeum gave for the small
dwelling which became the mere nucleus of the establishment.
When the Athenaeum was in its highest prosperity we received a visit from the
Rev. Milo P. Jewett, who had been a professor in a Pedobaptist institution of
learning. He had lately become a Baptist, and was desirous to obtain useful
employment among Baptists. I knew that the brethren at Marion were designing to
establish a Baptist female school, and recommended Mr. Jewett to visit them. He
did so, and was in a short time announced as the president of the Judson
Institute. My recommendation was very beneficial in its results to the interests
of female education, but not to the interests of the Athenaeum. The Judson
Institute became a successful rival; and, being better located, better founded,
and better managed, it has lived and prospered long years since the Athenaeum
become extinct.
While we remained in Tuscaloosa, though I was pleased with the place and people,
and with my success in teaching the daughters of the land, there was one point
on which I often felt dissatisfaction. My life had been consecrated to the work
of the ministry, and I was now accomplishing nothing in that work. At Hadington
I had the pleasure of conceiving that I was still serving in the sacred office
by assisting others to preach; but that pleasure was now gone, and my heart
desired its return. Without any special seeking of mine, the Lord was pleased to
grant my desire. There was a vacancy in the presidency of Mercer University,
Penfield, Georgia, which the Trustees were desirous to fill; and they were
desirous also to add a professor of Theology to their faculty. They solicited
Dr. Manly to fill the vacancy, and, in their correspondence with him, I have
reason to believe that he recommended me for the other office. Without any
correspondence with me, they appointed me to that office, and added a pro
tempore appointment to the presidency. This addition, I believe, was made by the
Trustees with the hope that Dr. Manly would ultimately consent to become the
permanent president. After some deliberation and consultation with my worthy
Bro. Manly, I accepted the appointment.
Our tuition year in the Athenaeum was divided into two sessions of five months
each. It was in the fall session of 1843 that I received the appointment just
mentioned; and, having made engagements for the session, I could not leave
before the close of the session, which would occur on the last of June, 1844. I
explained this matter to the Trustees and was allowed time to settle up my
concerns in Tuscaloosa. The month of January was remarkable for almost incessant
rain, and the roads through the country became almost impassable. Tuscaloosa had
then no railroad connection with the world, and we decided to make our way to
Montgomery by water. As the Ohio and Tennessee rivers assisted us to enter
Alabama, so the Black Warrior, the Tombigbee, and the Alabama rivers assisted us
to leave it. When we reached Montgomery we had a railroad ride of thirty five
miles to Chehaw, which was then the terminus of the road. From this place we
were compelled to take passage by stage to Madison, which was then the terminus
of the Georgia railroad. The distance was long, the mud was deep, and the stage
was full of passengers; but we pressed on day and night, through alarms and
perils, and had at last the joy of finding ourselves safely arrived. From
Madison we had a pleasant railroad ride of twenty miles to Greensborough, the
point on the railroad nearest to Penfield. We reached Greensborough late on
Saturday evening, and put up at the hotel until Monday.
On Sunday morning February 12th, 1844, I attended worship at the Baptist
meeting. Here I met with Bro. Thomas Stocks, the president of the Board of
Trustees of Mercer University. He was, so far as I know, the only man in Georgia
whom I had ever seen, and whom I had seen only a few times in the Triennial
Convention. With this brother I had afterwards much pleasant intercourse. He
continued to be president during my whole connection with the University. He has
lately left the world at a very advanced age. The pastor of the Greensborough
Baptist church was the Rev. P. H. Mell, a professor in Mercer University. With
this brother I formed my first acquaintance, which after long association with
him in the service of the University, was ripened into strong friendship. He is
now the Vice Chancellor of the University of Georgia. It so happened that
professor Mell had brought with him a student of the University to preach for
him, brother Sylvanus Landrum, a member of the Sophomore class, the highest
class then in the university, a class which in a few days fell under my
instruction. This young brother preached the first sermon that I ever heard in
Georgia, and gave the first specimen of talents which it was to be my privilege
to cultivate. The class to which he belonged was one of more than ordinary
ability, and this brother has since occupied very important stations. He has
given himself wholly to the ministry of the word, and now is the pastor of the
Second Baptist church, Memphis, Tennessee. From Greensborough we proceeded on
the following day to Penfield, a distance of seven miles, where I met many
Trustees of the University, whom president Stocks had gathered to receive me.
With them I had free conversation about the plans and arrangements of the
institution, and was gratified to find that they were inclined to give to the
Theological department all the prominence and enlargement in their power. At
this meeting I became acquainted with the Trustees assembled. Among these was
the Rev. B. M. Sanders, who had been the first president of the University, and
was a patriarch and leading spirit among the Baptists in Georgia. This man has
since gone to his rest.
There were in service at the time two professors whom I had not yet seen, but
with whom I soon became acquainted. One of these was professor S. P. Sanford,
who remained in the University to the present day. The other was professor B. O.
Pierce, who was a Northern man, and after serving about three years, went back
to the North. There was also a teacher of the preparatory school, Rev. T. D.
Martin, who retained the office till the school was given up. He afterwards
removed to the State of New York.
The campus of the University was a large oblong rectangular parallelogram,
situated on the side of a gently descending hill. At the top stood the
president's house, midway between the upper corners of the lot; and, on the
left, was a long one story brick building, divided into two rooms. One of these
became my recitation room; in the other the preparatory school was taught. Lower
down there had been on the sides of the parallelogram two large buildings
opposite to each other; but one of these had been destroyed by fire a short time
before our arrival. The cellar was a two story edifice with a basement. The
basement was undivided, and was used as a chapel. The stories above were divided
into recitation rooms for the three professors and dormitories for the students.
Near the lower corners of the lot were buildings used by the two literary
societies into which the students were divided. These also contained
dormitories. Three large buildings were afterwards added, one of them a chapel.
The students took their meals at boarding houses in the village; and a large
bell on the campus gave signals for the various operations of the day. The first
call given soon after day-break commanded the slumbering students to prepare for
duty. The second call given at sunrise brought them to the chapel for morning
prayer; from which they proceeded to the several recitation rooms for the first
lesson of the day. The third call closed the recitations, and gave notice to the
boarding houses to have breakfast in readiness. A similar process determined the
time for the midday recitation and dinner; and for the evening recitation and
evening prayer. Supper was taken throughout the year at sunset; and from supper
the pious students proceeded, with as many as they could induce to accompany
them, to the preparatory school room for a voluntary prayer meeting. This
twilight prayer meeting was kept up during the whole of my connection with the
University, and was a source of rich blessing. Several precious revivals
commenced in it.
The University had passed through some difficulties; but its prospects now were
bright. The faculty were laboring diligently and harmoniously; the students were
well behaved and studious, a good religious influence was operating, and there
was no burden pressing on the institution to cause fear for its ultimate
success. It had previously been burdened with a manual labor appendage, but just
at the time of our arrival the Trustees were lopping off this incumbrance. It
was well endowed; and the Trustees managed its finances so wisely that it was
never in debt.
At the Commencement in the summer of 1846 I had the privilege of giving diplomas
to a class of well prepared students. At the Commencement of every year
following, students were graduated. The number was not large; but a sufficient
number of young men went forth from the institution to be a blessing to the
land. Some of them have been highly useful in the Christian ministry.
Some changes occurred in the faculty during my connection with the University.
The first of these was the appointment of the Rev. J. L. Reynolds, of South
Carolina, to a professorship in the Theological apartment. He was a brother well
qualified for the service required, and continued to serve successfully until he
was called to a professorship in the University of his native State. He has
recently finished his labors on earth. The vacancy left by the resignation of
professor Pierce was filled by the appointment of Bro. J. E. Willett, a student
who graduated in the class of 1846. Professor Willett still retains his place in
the University. The next addition to the Theological department was made by the
appointment of Rev. N. M. Crawford, a man of learning, talent and popularity. He
held the position until the close of the year 1854, when he became my successor
in the presidency. He afterwards removed to Kentucky, and became the president
of Georgetown College; but he returned to his native State and died not long
ago. The Rev. S. G. Hillyer was added to the faculty; first in the Collegiate,
and afterwards in the Theological department. This brother performed his duty
well, was highly esteemed, and retained his connection with the University, if I
am not mistaken, until about the beginning of the late war. He was afterwards
the president of Monroe female college, and is still connected with that
institution.
My connection with the University was on the whole exceedingly pleasant; but I
cannot say that it was wholly exempt from trials. I had now far more than at
Hadington the pleasure of conceiving myself to be still engaged in the work of
the ministry, and the consciousness that I was rendering valuable service. My
Baptist brethren in Georgia treated me with a degree of respect and confidence
that justly claimed and must receive the lasting gratitude of my heart. These
considerations were so uplifting that I needed a thorn in the flesh, lest I
should be exalted above measure. My heavenly father in his wisdom sent me
trials; but he sent them with love inscribed upon them all. My chief trial arose
from the infirmities which had troubled me for years in the performance of my
duties. The professorship of Theology I had eagerly accepted; but the presidency
I had accepted with reluctance. My infirmities caused me to shrink from the
prominence which it gave me, as well as from the responsibility which it
imposed. When I received the appointment at Tuscaloosa I did not conclude to
accept it, until I had conversed with my wise adviser Dr. Manly. He thought
that, as I would be the oldest member in the faculty I would have the
responsibility of the presidency, and it would therefore be best that I should
have the power. It was wisely ordered that the first appointment was made pro
tempore. This gave a time of trial, in which my colleagues and the Trustees had
an opportunity of knowing to what extent I could perform the duties of the
office; and it was after this trial that they made the appointment permanent. I
had a consciousness that the duties were as well performed in the subsequent
years, as they had been in the first; but I felt them to be burdensome, and in
the prospect of advancing age I desired to be released from the burden.
When in February, 1854, I completed my sixtieth year, I thought the time had
come to be released from the presidency, and expressed my views to some of my
friends, but found among them some opposition to the course. The chief
consideration which had any effect on my mind was the apprehension that
difficulty might arise in or from the choice of a successor, a difficulty which
afterwards did arise. When the Board of Trustees held their next session in the
summer of that year, before business commenced, I sought and obtained an
interview with the President and Treasurer, two very influential members, and
expressed to them my views, and my readiness to turn over the office if the
Board would choose a successor. The Treasurer afterwards returned and informed
me that they had reported my conversation to the Board, and were authorized by
the Board to receive my resignation. It was a rule adopted by the Board that
resignations should not take effect until six months after they had been
accepted. Hence I continued to be in the presidency until the close of the year.
After being relieved from the presidency, I was in a service which I preferred
to any other that it was possible for me to perform; but considerations were
afterwards presented, which induced me to give up all public service, and to
strive, if possible, to be useful in another way. I accordingly tendered my
resignation of the professorship, and in the spring of 1856 was released from
its responsibility.
The desire of rendering service in the Christian ministry now led me to attempt
the writing of books which would be useful to young ministers. This would be
another method of giving theological instruction, a method which might possibly
make my instruction longer-lived than myself. I concluded to attempt the writing
of a Manual of Theology, and immediately set about the work.
Since my eyes failed in 1824, I had done most of my writing by dictating to an
amanuensis. I conceived that it would be much easier for me to write out my
thoughts as they arose in my mind, than to hold them in memory until I could
have my amanuensis with me to write them for me. To accomplish this there were
two difficulties in my way. One was, if I wrote without looking at it, the ink
in my pen would fail without my knowing it. This difficulty I found that I could
overcome by the use of Prince's Patent Protean Pen. The other difficulty was,
that if I wrote without looking at it, I should fail to give a proper direction
to the lines and keep them at a proper distance apart. To obviate this
difficulty, I invented a writing board which effectually accomplished the object
desired. When I wrote without looking at it, I could not dot the letter i or
cross the letter t. To supply this defect, and to make legible any word which
might, from any cause, be imperfectly written, it was needful for some one who
had the use of eyes to revise my writing. This service, my wife performed.
When I left the presidency of the University it became necessary to leave the
president's house also. Our children had all left us, and my wife and I from
that time became boarders. We boarded in Penfield until my connection with the
University was entirely dissolved, and then removed to Madison, where we made
our home with my brother-in-law P. Loud and my sister his wife. It was at
Madison that the writing of the Manual was begun. In the latter part of the year
we went to Cuthbert where our son-in-law R. D. Mallory had charge of the Baptist
female college. He and his wife were living in the boarding house of the
college, with a large number of boarders under their care; and we took board
with a widow lady, Mrs. Thornton, who lived on the opposite side of the street.
In Cuthbert the Manual of Theology was completed in the spring of 1857. After we
had written a letter offering it for publication at the Southern Baptist
Publication Society at Charleston, and had wrapped up and directed the
manuscript, my wife proposed that we should commit it to the Lord by prayer. We
knelt together at our writing desk besought the Lord to accept the work of our
hands, and implored him to bless it, and make it useful in his cause. It went to
Charleston and was stereotyped before the close of the year.
The Manual needed a second part or supplement, and I proceeded without delay to
write the treatise on Church Order. This was completed in the spring of 1858.
After some correspondence with the Publication Society, I went to Philadelphia
to superintend the stereotyping of this work, and my wife went to see some
relations whom she had not seen since 1836. On our return from Philadelphia we
stopped at Madison, and again took up our abode with my brother-in-law and
sister.
At Madison my work on Moral Science was begun in the summer of 1858, and
finished in the summer of 1859. Judging it not a suitable work for our society
to publish, I concluded to have it stereotyped at my own expense, and for this
purpose sent it to our son O. W. Davis, who lived in Philadelphia. He had it
stereotyped, and contracted with Sheldon & Co., of New York for its publication.
The next theological work which I undertook to write was on the Evidences of
Christianity. The greater part of this was written in Cuthbert in the house of
Mrs. Thornton. My wife's eyes had failed so much that she could no longer assist
me; but I procured the valuable services of Mrs. Thornton's eldest daughter Miss
Rebecca. This work was longer in hand and cost me more labor than all that I had
written; and when it was completed, the war was raging and cut off the hope of
getting it published.
On November 29th, 1864, my beloved wife was taken from me after a very short
illness. She died in the confident hope of reaching the blest abode above. Soon
after her death, which occured in the house of Mrs. Thornton, I removed and made
my home in the family of my son. I left Mrs. Thornton's without a settlement of
my account with her for our board. As soon as it was convenient for me to make
an estimate of what was due her, I concluded that I owed her $300.00, and
procured a check for this amount on a bank in New York. This I sent to her; but
the good lady returned it, saying that she considered herself already paid. I
take pleasure in recording this act of kindness.
About the year 1868 I offered my work on the Evidences of Christianity to the
Georgia Baptist Convention, on condition that funds could be raised for
stereotyping it. Generous brethren contributed the funds necessary, and it was
published by J. W. Burk & Co., of Macon, who now publish my Moral Science also.
In the year 1868 my son removed to Kentucky from Forsyth, Georgia, and left me
in the family of my son-in-law S. G. Hillyer, who was the president of the
female college in that town. With Bro. Hillyer and his wife, my daughter
Elizabeth, I continued to live till the death of my daughter. This occurred very
suddenly in January, 1870. When my daughter Mrs. Rugeley in Lowndesboro,
Alabama, received news of her death, she wrote to me, inviting me to come and
live with them. I replied that I was too infirm to take so long a journey. She
visited us in April, and prevailed on me to return with her. We arrived at
Lowndesboro on the last day of April, and remained there until the first day of
November, when we removed to Hayneville, where we have ever since lived, and
where I now write this.
Though I have lived more than seven years in Hayneville, I have never been off
the lot on which I was first set down, and have formed very little acquaintance
with the inhabitants of the town. My infirmities are greatly increased; and,
though I have reason to thank God that my mind has not been taken from me, I
have found my head much affected by the labor of preparing this sketch. I look
forward to a time not far distant when I shall finish my course on earth in this
land of strangers, far away from all the scenes of my active life; and when my
body will be interred in this strange land far away from the burial place of
many whom I loved. I buried one dear wife at Upperville, Virginia, and another
at Cuthbert, Georgia, and I expect my body to be interred in the Hayneville
burial ground, a place which I have never seen. I placed no monument on the
graves of my departed wives; and I wish none to be placed on mine, not a stone
to tell where I lie. We shall sleep in our earthly bed far from one another; but
we shall all sleep in Jesus, and we have the promise that "Them that sleep in
Jesus will God bring with Him." When He comes we shall be gathered together, and
we shall meet to part no more.
These lines are written at the request of my grand son Junius F. Hillyer, for
his gratification, and for the gratification of any other of my children who may
read them. To excite their gratitude to God, I wish to make mention of the
Lord's kindness to our family. All my five children professed Christ. Two of
them are gone to heaven; and the remaining three are on the way. Of my grand
children, seventeen have professed Christ, and are, I hope, true disciples. If
all of these twenty-two are heirs of the incorruptable inheritance, worth more
than all the kingdoms on earth, what a rich family are we! Let us all unite in
gratitude to God for his unspeakable blessings. But let us not forget that there
are still nine grand children and eight great grand children who need Christ and
his great salvation. For them let us pray fervently that they all may be brought
into the fold of Christ, and may serve him faithfully on earth, and be united
with the rest to make an unbroken family in heaven.
I wrote the first sketch, and began to write this; but my writing was so imperfect, that I desisted, and decided to give up the use of the pen.
Converted to electronic form by Stan Reeves at sjreeves@eng.auburn.edu.
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